EMOT - Employee's Moment of Truth

It has been eight months down in my first job and it’s already a ride to cherish!! Well.. Don’t worry i won‘t be talking about the worldly orgasmic feeling of nothing-to-everything ecstasy by patronizing myself into doing things the “different way“!!For all it’s worth, I can only talk about the way i can see things happening and how i fucked up. In B-School, we used to talk a lot about our regret of not being the Ivy League colleges, not being among the best graders and used to fret about placements. Frankly, nothing matters other than the passion to know more, learn more and communicate more. At max, the Ivy league blokes can have a few years' head start and the rest is as vague as it can get.I have heard many pompously claiming that the MBA graduates are overpaid for knowing about of excel and making fancy slides. They accuse about MBA graduates over exploiting their gift of gab to sneak their way up the hypocritical corporate ladder. The argument is easily framed critics‘ voice but to the utter dismay of the critics, it’s not as simple as that! But let’s come to that later. First, let’s talk about movies. I love the dialogue in the movie “Up in the Air“ where George Clooney asks a guy he is about to fire and the guy is super pissed, “Sir, do you know why kids love athletes?“. The guys blurts back, “Cuz they are sexy?“ Clooney says back,“ No that’s why grown ups love them. The kids love athletes because they follow their dreams!“ Irrespective of being in a Non-MBA or MBA job, the one thing essential to ask oneself is, “Am i spending at least one hour of my day following my passion?“ We aimlessly go on with our daily routines of work that we miss to see the “Bigger Picture“. Are we trying to be leader too or are we just managers living off our firefighting jobs? We talk a lot about formations in football, but have you notice the formation of a group of birds flying during migration? They fly in an arrow-shaped formation with the strongest among them at the tip of the arrow. And this bird is always in a lookout for a substitute because it is imperative of him to fall back at some stage of the flight to let some one else take over at the tip of the formation. Don’t you see a stark resemblance to our corporate cultures!Let’s go back to our dilemma about our overrated MBA babus. I came across a HR lingo in one of the reputed firm, EMOT. Don't fret, its Employee’s Moment of Truth! And this is where it is determined you are worth it as a MBA grad or how good a manager you are. Before you feel that i am “over exploiting“ my “gift of gab“, let me tell you what this is all about. A lot of times, we miss out on emphasizing winning the small battles in our blinded madness to win the big war. Have you welcomed  a subordinate or colleague when he came up with his kid’s study problems or some of his family’s issue or the fact that he missed attending his best friend’s wedding for a “important“ meeting? We mistake these things to be mere extravagance of time expense or a mindless discussion of fruitless consequence. But next time, try being sensitive in your response in these situations and notice the fluidity in which your work gets done with that very guy. We forget the fact that our partners work “with“ us and not “for“ us. Every conflict is because of some solid base and till that base of argument is addressed, the conflict will never come to a forceful halt. All conflict is as simple as you writing a 9 on a piece of paper, the guy on the other side seeing it as 6. Both are right on their own view but the problem can only be addressed if both parties agree to turn the tables! This is essentially what a good manager is supposed to identify and resolve.

Carry On...

“Though I've never been through hell like that

I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone 
Or you're sinking like a stone. 
Carry on. 
May your past be the sound 
Of your feet upon the ground. 
Carry on.”

We live in self-righteous worlds of our own… Fair Enough!! How can you blame it when on the other turn of the face you will tell us to be confident of ourselves and be who we really are!! So imagine a world with multiple worlds of each individuals, each with its own beliefs, virtues of right and wrong, opportunities and challenges, excitements and hardships. Imagine a conflict in such a world where you feel you are always right in your own world and hardly care to make people understand because after all, they wouldn’t understand because they they are submerged in their own worlds while nodding their heads and smiling at your face!!

Life is cruel. Life is a challenge. Emotions are dying and people refrain to either accept it or drown in their busy and melancholic lives and would go, “Do I need to cry to show you, asshole!!” No, of course not! All you need to do is this: You need to care to come out of your “world” and see the other “worlds” because this is why we are essentially born for… To give a chance for the other “worlds” to smile, to bring some excitement to other “worlds”, care to listen to the hardships of other “worlds” and be mature enough the accept the deviation of these “worlds” from your own. Well.. This is not it. There is more. Finally, you need to let go of these “worlds”!!

We miss some people.. We miss them so bad that you hardly feel like doing anything, eating, sleeping or talking. We have all these silent conversations in our heads with the people we miss and just wish that they somehow magically are able to hear these silent conversations. In these conversations, we laugh with them, we fight with them, we calm each other down, and this cycle goes on. You read previous chats and see photos in vain. And later, you end up realizing that all these things were utter waste of time and feel like a nail hammered down your heart. Aren’t these relations so weird? We don’t even know how we end up being so close and yet so far. We prioritize relations and then choose one over the other. And before long, you have to let go. 

It’s isn’t so easy to let go… to “Carry On”!! Their names come in daily conversations with your friends and family. They grow up to ignore you and call themselves “mature” and you fight with your own thoughts of “immaturity”. You always think about how they were when they first met you and how you wish that things are always like those times. You think about the time when you cared for each other, smiled with each other and made up after fighting a numerous times. You start to question the very genuineness of the relationship but later feel that it could not have been wrong after all. So, now you are confused, helpless and on the verge on doing something which is not so clever and strong. There you go.. The sweet recipe of Disaster!!

This is not the end. Because people come and go.. But memories don’t! They stay strong with you and trust me, after this short phase is done and dusted, these memories will stay in your head and there would be lots that you have learnt from each relationship.  Maybe it’s not the end of your relationship even. You never know. You can just hope!! Anyways, Life moves on… Life is magical. Let the dice keep rolling.

The Great B-School Hoopla

Placements – The dream for which an MBA student spends lots of sleepless nights. HUL, ITC, P&G, Nestle, Citi Bank, GeP, Amozon,… These are the names that he thinks in his mind and tightens his grip in his tight fist. Yeah, of course there would be those superladies and supergentlemen who get through PPOs in their Summer Internship with a bit of talent, a bit of hard work and a bit… No, a lot of networking!! Be it as it may be, if I were to give you just one advice for Final Placements friends… It has to be – DO NOT BE A PART OF IT. Get out with a PPO in your Summers with an effort of your lifetime and enjoy your B School Life.

Well, there has to be many others like me who would not have been ripe enough to be plucked during the Summers. Well, it shouldn’t matter to you if you know the reason you couldn’t make it all the way and the aspects you need to improve yourself in the next one year. For instance, for me it was to improve my technical knowledge and developing a practical and thorough insight of my Domain – Supply Chain. After all, it isn’t your end of life. Move on and say to yourself, “So what?” Enjoy the fact that the best in the Campus are getting a PPO and it’s your competition that reduces for the finale - Final Placements!! And if you are on the greener side, beware of the complacency.

Being in Placement Committee taught me various lessons. Time Management, Understanding of requirements of the recruiters, Leadership Qualities, Crisis Management, blah blah… Sorry I got driven by the bullshit answers you got to give during interviews. Well you know what’s the biggest asset of being a Placecommer?? Here it is – You are undoubtedly a part of the best minds of the Campus, some awesomely gifted self-committed, self-driven and creative people who pushes you each minute to newer limits which you never even expected out of yourself!!

Handling the various processes, organizing major events and involved in a lot of placement-related activities throughout the year never gave me the freedom to concentrate full-fledged on my studies. Frankly, I never wanted to anyways.. Or neither did I ever do though out my career. So as the days closed down to my Finals Placements, I started to keep myself in seclusion more and more. I started spending more time in my room with Supply Chain books or at gym. You always need a special company to keep you going and letting your fears and emotions out. Frankly, there is nothing you can be told back that can pacify you but it’s just about someone you care listening to you and saying, “It’s Okay”. I have been lucky in this way as I can thinking about not just one but many close friends.

The first day was a nightmare. I started with an IT profile, got to the last round, rejected… then a SCM profile, again got to final round, rejected… then a Marketing profile, selected for the first round and my dilemma with it cost me the opportunity. For once, I realized that being on the other side and wearing your name tag on your suit is very different from wearing the Placecommer Tag. On the second morning all I did is brush up my Summers, heard some inspiring song (on any other day I would have been face-hiding-embarrassed by this) and pledged to myself that this is the last time that I am going upstairs for the process as a candidate instead of a Placecommer helping others with getting their jobs – My actual Job!!

So 3 hours from this, I got my first job of my life!! Thank you so much to everyone who were a part of this. Well, it’s 2-3 days of stardom and then it’s all the same guys. So make friends, love others and enjoy life. And a new phase of my life starts which scares me sometimes, but you know what… Bring It On!! :)

Gather Ye Rosebuds... By Robert Herrick

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying: And this same flower that smiles today
To-morrow will be dying.
.
The glorious lamp of Heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run.
And nearer he's to setting.
.
That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.
.
Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may, go marry:
For having lost but once your prime,
You may for ever tarry.

Carnival of SmartAsses

It’s the Carnival of Smartasses!! Come on champions; bless us with the Pristine Suits, Terse Words and Sophisticated Countenance. They live for it and we die with it. So people sit back on your seats and appreciate the plethora of emotion-dances and sentiment-exhibitions on the stage. Because they would perform for you till their last breath just for being patronized. They were just like you, you meek gullible little ones. But they have brushed past you and now, they don’t even remember your faces!! They are simply too good for you.

Here is when some questions come to my mind. Are they the protagonist of the play that is life or the director? Are they the showstoppers or the show coordinators? Are the dramatics important or their inside self?  Someone told me few days back that if you want to live happily ever after, learn to frame your image on others’ mind of what you want yourself to be seen. It hardly matters who you are but it about what others perceive you to be. I have never been in such a crooked world before, you see. Is this all real? DO all live their lives like this? Dunno. But the real question is not this. The real question is… How to deal with this bizarre world?

We are hypocrites of the extreme nature. And sadists. Humans have the unfathomable quest to prove that he/she is better than the other. It’s all about reputation, rank, hierarchy, recognition, fame, money and self-proclamation. It’s a mad race and the one who can reach the top by hook or by crook and cloaks the wrongdoings and incompetence by artistry of words and magician’s deception. Where is the simple world of accepting mistakes, learning from them and talking to your conscience? All these seem utter bullshit. Life isn’t one of those Chetan Bhagat’s books and it doesn’t give you a second chance. It’s a world where if you can’t get things done by being smart, you are very well allowed to play dumb.

If you are living in real world, you don’t just live one life. You live multiple lives each with their own assumptions, accomplices, emotions and fallacies. The trick in the tale is how quick and apt is the way in which you can shift between your lives in the complexion that you deem fit. It’s like the firewall stages of your network security and giving right access to the right levels of your soul. On the core of your soul is the place where after all, these lives merges into one and this is the place where ice melts, where birds chirp to drink the elixir and there is music in the air which only you can decipher and tells a tale very different from what it looks like. That world is yours. Very own.

So live your life!!! And leave me the way I am. With the people I am with near my soul. And with my mistakes and stubbornness. I will find my own path of glory someday.

The call of the beloved

Love is…
Love is feeling cold in the back of vans
Love is a fan club with only two fans
Love is walking holding paint stained hands
Love is.
Love is fish and chips on winter nights
Love is blankets full of strange delights
Love is when you don’t put out the light
Love is
Love is the presents in Christmas shops
Love is when you’re feeling Top of the Pops
Love is what happens when the music stops
Love is
Love is white panties lying all forlorn
Love is pink nightdresses still slightly warm
Love is when you have to leave at dawn
Love is
Love is you and love is me
Love is prison and love is free
Love’s what’s there when you are away from me
Love is…

These few lines from Adrian Henry are the closest i have come across that elucidates the worldly emotions of love in words. I am neither such skilled a writer nor the keenest of observers of the plethora of human emotions that can bring me even close to illustrate my depth of love for you. I may not be good at saying romantic words but I do love you. They say that street of destiny is full of pebbles, and climax and anti climax of all the sorts lie ahead of us and things are bound to take turns for good or bad... But all i damn care is that all the roads lead me to you and you are with me clutching my hand tight never letting go.

As i think at all the things that we have gone through, I see a pattern and a purpose for a single ending. Our sisters' fiasco, our first conversation in the bus, your "ragging" after the branch change, my yearning, your break up, our simultaneous career-happy moments, our tough times during the sudden leap of fortune, our fighting spirits and the weird feeling of secret achievement now....all seems a pattern to me. And don't mistake it, It was in this particular order. I know that it hurt you so much to face people and convince them the honesty in particularly two things in this order, but today i can very well ask you to just let go. People can think what they like and there is no point proving anything to anybody because the more you try, the more they would suspect... And frankly, if all you care is me, give these thoughts a rest and try to start over and try making the world happy. And beyond a point, you can't help a diseased soul.

Ok sorry i got dragged away. Each day that we share this bond of trust, I feel more strong and confident about us. I may be weird in my own way and be stupid at times. But i only behave this way just because i feel desperate to prove that i am worth all your love and care. And this pushes me to do things i could never have imagined before. Among all these weird people around me here, I feel like my own when i talk to you.You give me a reason to smile on the worst of days and a reason to blush on the most uneventful of days. Sometimes i wonder that i have got things so easily that it almost feels like a dream. I don't care if it's a dream. Just hope no one wakes me up anymore.

It's crazy ride we have had isn't it? It has been a free flowing rivulet...with small hiccups all right. But what lies ahead are the true testing times. You remember the "challenge" right? We got to meet up to that and i can promise you that i will never tire of seeing you smile. Lots of hugs. Love you forever.  I cant believe that i am saying this... but finally...yes finally ... I believe in LOVE!! Don't ever make me want to delete this post. Keep smiling.

farewell...

imagine an animated world moving slowly around you and you are stranded feeling numb while the storm of change beckons you to move ahead. you are brushed by a shoulder and you turn around to see no faces looking back at you. you wonder whether you did actually brush any shoulder or not. fingerprints dont fade from the lives we touch. all you fear is that in the costemic world that we live in, is there a feeble chance of people faking the fingerprints? as you take a pause from your busy lives, you realise that afterall, these brush of shoulders and touch of hearts is what makes life memorable and pleasant, no matter how short these special moments are or how it is going to turn out in future!

few months from now, it would hardly matter how we ended up being there or what we believed about that place before. because we would be so immersed into our lives that asking if one is asleep or not, worrying if one has taken her medicine, caring if one had a ugly day with his boss, or assuring that you would never give up on your special one, would be if not anything else, difficult. hence, it would be a test of the highest degree which would eventually determine how good friends you are. when the juniors asked me about farewell, my initial reaction was "no way am i going!!!" i strongly believe that for those you care for, there isn't gonna come that single day when u say, "tadaa bubbyee...see ya!! adios..." and for those you don't, the very least that you can do is not fake your wishes and good gestures. and so, you see why i don't see the point in a farewell party. but due to my sweet juniors and my mocking di, i made up my mind, very reluctantly though, to make a short visit and come back. but as it turns out, i am a fucking emotional prick!! i ended up doing all the wrong things and feel bad later on. hehe...

when me and my friend arrived at the party, it was already late and i felt meek seeing all the lavish dreases and elegant makeovers. but then i thought, who is here to praise my dress or look special for. it was a day of love birds dancing in the love-makes-happy-ending tunes. it was good to see the happy faces, although i wondered if i would ever be gutsy enough to dance with a girl on stage. with my receding hairline and disbelief in the notion of love, i might probably give you the good news in the next lifetime. at one point of time, i felt it was very absurd. no1 seemed to remember the huge fight which caused cracks all over the place few months back. people were all smiling while asking sweet questions to the one they had a day of phillipics with that day. is it really true that time heals all wounds? when called upon to the stage with the dearest of my friends, me and my friend ended up fighting not to dance together and falling short of words for each other. after some wild dance steps, we called the day off. the juniors had asked us to write something for each other on a piece of paper, and as always i ended with abruptly terse and insufficient one liners and wished i cut everything i wrote and write something more sensible.

frankly, i didn't care about this day after a very special day yesterday when me and some of my special friends spent a long-wished-for hangout roaming, eating and watching a movie. Anyways, THANK YOU ALL very much for everything!!!