Saturday, July 11, 2009

play dumb...keep yr brains off

heres sm smartass stuffs i found out recently...chek it out!!!


..Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. -Yul Brynner

..My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -Emo Philips

..I`ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

..Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

..I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. -Emo Philips

..Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt. - Kin Hubbard

..Sure, there's no 'i' in team, but there is an 'm' and an 'e'. -Kevin Meyers

..There are moments when everything goes well; don't be frightened, it won't last. -Jules Renard

..If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

..You use an average of 43 muscles for a frown and you use an average of 17 muscles for a smile, and they say every two thousand frowns creates one wrinkle.

..The longest non-medical word in the English language is floccipausinihilipilification (29 letters), which means "the act of estimating as worthless."

..On the average a fart is composed of about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen. Less than 1% is what makes them stink.

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