We Are In His Hands In Anger And In Peace

If we come to (a state of) ignorance, that is His prison. And if
we come to (a state of) knowledge, that is His (lofty) balcony.

If we come to (a state of) sleep, we are His drowsy-drunken ones.
And if we come to (a state of) wakeful alertness, we are in His
Hands.

If we come to (a state of) weeping, we are His cloud full of
glistening (raindrops). And if we come to (a state of) laughing,
we are His lightning in that moment.

If we come to (a state of) anger and battle, it is the reflection
of His Wrath. And if we come to (a state of) peace and pardon, it
is the reflection of His Love.

Who are we in this complicated world?

--From "The Mathnawî-yé Ma`nawî" [Rhymed Couplets of Deep Spiritual Meaning] of Jalaluddin Rumi.

from a 9.er to a 7.er

people giggle and fidget when the result is out. and if you happen to have an internet connection in your room its adda place. its da place to be for some, and not to be for some. its wierd, lukin at ppl's emotions. you may hav come accross da distinction of emotional outburst before- some ecstatic and some dullfaced. der r dose who punch deir fist in the air, ecstatic and den dere r dose who behave as if de hadn even given da xam and still hav scored a 9.00. n lastly dere r dose who r indifferent. "m***** kati deichi taku", "bput ma arse", "back nai lagaa hai toh? chalo phir kool hai", "uska kitna aaya?....aur uska?...aur uska?...aur uska?..." and " abe kaunsa sem tha apan ka?" r some anecdotes u shudn b surprizd hearing. if u hav a gud score u might b asked, " abe saaley tera saara ppr mein bak lagne wala tha naa? dhoka de diya?", if u hv a ok kinda score u might b asked, " saaley bina padhke itna le aata hai. aur hum hain ki padh padh ke bi g*** maraa rahe hain!!!" and if u hav a worthless score u might...no dis tym its "Wud b" asked," arre koi nai yaar. ye bput ppr correcn bhi nahhi karta hai. warna 'widheld' kahan dikhta hai. der r more important things in lyf. chill out!!"

i wud lyk 2 believ dat m a mark zuckerberg blogging while being drunk( water wud do?) n dreamin a whole new world. dis tym my gpa s a fucked up 7.75 wid few as n bs n cs and a d. n da sad part is as i sit down tryna rem'ber da chapters of da subject in wich i got a 'd', i fail to rem'ber nethng. absolutely nothing!! n i wudn go for rechekin cuz i fear it may change from a 'd' to a 'f'. hehe...n ders hardly nething to repent. da onle thing i hate abt being a 7 .er apart from the moment wen mom reminds me of dose gud old 9. des s da fact dat some ppl think not being a 7.er gives dem da ryt to come n sympathize a 7.er. "oh lolly polly don wrry. its all gonna b alryt!!" b******* u speakin all dese shit wud make a 7 .er feel bad even if he wasn b4. so puleez....do i care? ofcrs i do! but am i hurt n sik? a big NO!!! wat shud i b feel bad abt? hav i lost a hand, or a leg, or even a friend? trust me, ders lot important things to live for. BELIEF!!! i neva workd for dese sems neways.

here congratulating all dose 8 .ers n 9 .ers n if m obliged, 10.ers!!! jus if i m lucky enuf, no1 now wud come up n say, " soman, tensn mat le. tu to mba karega. isse farak nai padega!!" if dat doesn happen m jus abt fyn! as de say, silence s a elixir, a panacea.

Wake up...

Free from the cobwebs of melancholic life
Dreaming my days in prairie and nights in prom,
I woke up rejuvinated one fine morning
Feeling how big and beautiful life is.
It was then that i realized,
My hands had shot up as if a nemesis
And it's time to leave my dishevelled bed!

Shadows drown our empty hearts
As love is fading in the darkest corners.
All that we are, we aren't saying
And, all the things we care ends in 'me'.
Humming the old tunes of misery and hapless genre,
We seek solace and sympathy.
Tearing our clothes apart and honking on the roof
We condemn Past and justify Redemption.
But...
What about NOW?
What about this very moment of truth?
Is there nothing you can do,
To change?
To craft destiny?
To damn the wisdom in you and do the new?
To love?
Just for once, now....

Come again, did you tell me the story?
The story of the unknown, the ideal, the impossible?
Can't we live our stories right here today?
See, the rains pour over your souls,
As you are washed away of your deepest secrets,
And your're drenched in the wettest of ascetism.
So, just clutch those fingers
And let go of all your egoism
For the joyride of Resuscitation, Realization and Rejuvination.
Just go and paint the towns in your colours!

So wake me up when spring comes...
When the heart is back in place,
When logic is drowned in the rivulet of emotions,
When everything we do is not for a reason,
When it wouldn't take a trumpet
To stir us from our places,
And when all this doesn't seem an obnoxious nonsense!

one day...

there is just so many things around to write. the ubiquitous presence of someone invisible, the hearty feelings, the warm effervensence of the perfume, the longing feeling of love-in-making....love has always been around. my reflection follow me, just me and my shadow. life is a short, messy thing and noone comes out alive. everyone drowns in the yearning feeling of love and till the day the belief wets you, you are very much alive. people lose and cry for the things they have lost and wisdom and you part ways for the darkish dawn. but trust me, one day will come...one day will come....

one day we will throw the umbrella and dance in the rain till we are drenched in friendship. one day we will meet in the spring of fortune and fate, one day we will fulfill all our desires to usher love. one day there would be a reason to sing again and then call out your name just for the fun of it. one day i will not sleep looking at your beautiful eyes fidgeting in the unknown dreams. one day you will realize that afterall the end of the world lies in your friends and you will repent for what you have done. those memories will make you yearn for more and the symphony of heart will fall in tune with realities of life. you will not believe how beautiful life is and all you have done is tie and untie the thin threads of realtionship. i sometimes wish life was like photoshop where i can cut, copy, paste, edit and color every single flashes of memories as i wish. the unpresidented forces of a divided world would always haunt us but am i the only one to feel that the series of events is brazenly wrong? some ugly spirits, some misunderstandings, soem ego and some stubbornness is all it takes...

a million shrouds or an invisibility cloak will take you nowhere other than an illusionary world where you feel noone can see you the way you are...naked shadows will reveal the brightness and darkness in you! love or hate it, everybody will see the jewel in you. so just forget about the shrouds and cloaks n remember noone s so great as to be able to spoil your mood. close your eyes, see the flash of light far ahead and try to imagine how many miles you have got to go to reach there. under the velvet sky are some special hands just for you and all almighty wants is for you to stretch your hand to those and never let go. cuz it takes just a moment for those hands to disappear in the dim light and you will be alone again. we choose our destiny.

when the lights go fading i am here for you. when there is no1 you can fall back upon i am here for you. when life looks an ugly mess and you feel the things in the vicinity fights you i am here for you. when the yells and fingers faze your spirit i am here for you. i am here for you...

sands of time slips...

u must have very well heard about the phrase and maybe also shrugged at the ugly prospects of it, but one thing you just can't do is testify its denial. its one of those hideous truths we prefer to close our eyes to. times change, auras change, perspectives change, and with it you change. the only question remains is, whether its for yr likeness or for real!!! you must have seen two kids strolling aimlessly hand in hand in a park. haven't you ever imagined you being one of them? hasn't the feeling of envy soaked you wet? haven't you ever felt loads of love inside waiting to be ushered on someone special, sharing ice creams, talking something as irrelevant as a candy not been given just for some extra nap time, abusing mommy for that and wishing for a more lenient one. the same two kids grow big and before they realize, those "losers" start calling them grown-ups, and then there are those "wannabes" who say they are cooler and hotter than them!!! like a black out, the kids are found dumb-struck to the yelling noises of the vicinity and gives in to the excruciating demands of "reality"!!! in a nutshell, this is a small anecdote of "slipping time".

okay. here goes. young innovative minds deserving much more than a stupid little college not even worth deir shit, are beckoned to realize the ugly truth of life. while having dreams of a premier institute like the IITs and the NITs and the likes of BITS and VELLOREs every night, they face the ugly reality the next morning. but sure, that never stopped them from dreaming; now for a better future. not sure about how to project oneself, making hell of a gaucherie of personality, and honing the goody-goody avatar, they try living a new-found existance. they are brave, care-a-damn and most significantly genuine kinda person. they are friendly[or, pretentiously so], lively and sensitive to the emotions of others. but there is something that goes on within which they have no clue of; a enigmatic network of feelings going on, which makes few so true friends that they make each other soulmates and few moment living in their world of non-chalance. every feeling has its reasons and eventualities.

well like all good times, these come to an end. they are filled with wisdom, knowledge and experience, and then, they feel, afterall they deserve to be better dressed, better projected, more acknowledged and respected "for what i am". i can still remember the times when calling a friend wrong, and apologising wasn't so hard. i remember the times when i didn't have to think a thousand times what to say when, whether it has any unsaid evil implications or whether it would hurt someone's emotions, simply because you know afterall you would be understood. the comments were existant then too, jus that i didn't feel the tinge of hatred and anger in them. when someone speaks, is it the real person, or the halo of the someone floating over the person's head? it's difficult to make out, even if you are a adroit examiner of human minds. the most irritating part is the thought that comes to my mind when i ask someone's help.am i being manipulative?am i doing all this just because he is of use to me right now? because i can see that happening around me!!! thinking....thinking...thinking....what the f***!! have i no other job to do? is this really f***ing worth it? so, these feelings die away enroute and in this infinite cycle, here is the moment of feeling lost and drowning in ecstasy. happiness is the only indespensable part of life. the rest can go to hell!!!